Thursday, March 13, 2003

Which odious nineties dullard do you support

George Michael recently gave his superstar backing to the stop the war campaign with a spectacularly ostentatious and tuneless performance on Top of the Pops of Don Mclean’s ‘The Grave’. Before he was finished I was forcing my way into Aylesbury Territorial Army base trying to hotwire a tank to drive to Iraq myself.

This morning, Mick Hucknall was on GMTV giving a pro-war stance (and talking about his brand new album “Dull Soul”). At which point I drove up to Strike Command on the edge of Wycombe and tied myself to the nose of a F16 Fighter plane chanting ‘Don’t attack, don’t attack Iraq”.

Why do celebrities do this? What added credibility for either argument really comes from celebrity endorsement? Perhaps if the UN Security Council’s impasse continues they’ll use album sales as a count back mechanism.

Germany: No
UK: Yes
USA: Yes
France: No
George Michael’s record sales: 25 million
Mick Hucknall’s record sales: 18 million

Pack your bags fellas there ain’t going to be no war on this watch.

Is the celebrity of these people strong enough to sway national opinion either way? Their musical influence is virtually nil nowadays, where does their political credibility come from?

Mick: “Well, when I was snorting cocaine off the breasts of Alicia Duvall whilst on tour in Australia, and I was looking at her naked on the bed and thought, man, it would be a tragedy if Saddam Hussain had Alicia in his bed, that cat’s gotta be stopped. Then we shagged all night.”

George: “I’ve seen the effect of authoritarian aggression, that policeman who caught me with my willy out was really really mean. Tee hee wasn’t I naughty, did I mention I’m gay, and I mean really really gay.”

This issue is complicated enough without these two dirtying both sides arguments.

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