Saturday, March 29, 2003

The Garraway experience

Recent phrases upon which this site have been found include “my sister has very big boobs”, “Vicki little biggest boobs” (twice), “Michael Jackson with boobs” and just to prove they aren’t all about boobs, “New builds in Rickmansworth”.

However, in recent weeks I have enjoyed somewhat of a spike in my stats. I now attract about 50 visitors a day; this is not just down to my biting yet hilariously comical views on life and its absurdities. This is down to Kate Garraway.

Kate, GMTV’s second string Couch Cookie, Settee Siren, Chaise Longe Chanteuse, is the reason for no less than 30% of my search engine referrals. She attracts more than the next twenty-two most popular subjects put together – including her arch nemesis Fiona Philips, Blazin’ Squad, Amanda Holden, Michael Jackson (with or without boobs), and SAS Are You Tough Enough?

So why is this GMTV Sofa Sexpot playing second fiddle on Britain’s favourite morning TV programme? Clearly her popularity is not being exploited to it’s fullest. I decided that these stats needed a wider airing so I’ve written to her agent Jayne Roseman.

Dear Jayne
In the course of writing an online log for my web site I have come across some very interesting information, which you may find useful in developing the career of your client Kate Garraway.

To provide you with some background, I recently critiqued a web site that referred to Kate and her GMTV colleague Fiona Phillips rather ungraciously, as “Big Titted”. My view being that this was a sad reflection of the FHM/Loaded world we live in, one which defines the complexities of personality in terms of physical attributes and sex.

The mere mention of Kate’s name on the site caused in a leap in the number of people visiting. 30% of referrals from sites like Google come through people searching her name. Fiona Phillips, by comparison, has attracted just two visitors in the same period of time.

It strikes me that when negotiating for a client you are probably often required to call upon subjective notions of popularity and ability in trying to secure a deal. However, saying it and proving it after very different things. The statistics surrounding Kate appear to be a very useful objective measure of her popularity and may prove to be useful in providing leverage in any future negotiations you may hold on her behalf.

I personally find Kate to be a pleasant, bright and able presenter, comfortably able to deal with the complex demands of a magazine show like GMTV. As such she is surely well positioned to occupy, what might be described as the Yummy Mumsy niche previously occupied by Judy Finnigan, Fern Britton (another of your clients I notice) and perhaps most recently by Carol Smilie. Clearly these people have developed lucrative and successful careers on the back of a wholesome image and a certain degree of sassyness. I think that Kate is in good stead to step into their shoes, or at least into a role with more prominence at GMTV.

Whilst my site is hardly a barometer for the nations affections, the popularity of Kate is so overwhelming, I thought it was worth letting you know to arm you with additional objective material in future contract negotiations. I hope this helps.

Kind regards



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