Thursday, January 04, 2007

Carbohydrate TV

TV gave up on Christmas. The big Christmas film has been gazumped by Sky Movies, and plugging in your brand new Nintendo Wii is always going to be preferable to watching Noel Up The Telecom Tower.

Focus has switched to New Year; schedules have been finessed to offer some comfort in the bleak mid-winter. This Life +10 aimed to take us back to the dog-days of Britpop. This Life was all terribly zeitgeist-y apparently; 5 lawyers who lived in London, did drugs, had sex and listened to Portishead. A reflection of my generation indeed, well I do have a Portishead album.

It did make me feel a bit sick that Egg was seen writing on his Mac Powerbook whilst listening to his iPod docked in a Bose speaker system. Turns out My Life is a bit of a thirty something cliche.

Celebrity Big Brother is the ultimate in carbohydrate TV offering comfort that's both unchallenging and soporific. How do they put together the Celebrity Big Brother contestants? Do they all sit down at a early production meeting and pick their ultimate wish-list...

"So, who do we want?"
"What about Nelson Mandela, Madonna, Khazakstani President Nursultan Nazarbayev and Pele?"
"Great, let's get to it."

Three weeks later...

"So, how did we get on with tracking down Pele?"
"Pretty good, it's taken a bit of researching, he first played in the World Cup in 1958 in Sweden. Well, in the Swedish squad that year was Sigge Parling."
"And he's friends with Pele?"
"No. Sigge Parling played for Djurgardens IF Fotball in Sweden; which is the same club that Jesper Blomqvist played for before he went to Manchester United as an understudy to Ryan Giggs."
"You've got Ryan Giggs?"
"No. But Ryan Giggs won the Champions League with another player of note from Djugardens; Teddy Sheringham, this is where I came up trumps."
"You got Teddy Sheringham!?"
"Not really."
"Who then?"
"His automaton girlfriend and disgraced Miss Great Britain; Danielle Lloyd."


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