Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dancing around the Christmas tree

From a primal perspective, dancing is all about sex. Dancing demonstrates vitality and health, and many of the moves – with the exception of The Pogo and Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box – are simply distilled sex moves of one kind or another.

With metronomic predictability, the Christmas Party happened last week and sure enough there was dancing. I don’t really dance to cheesy wedding/Xmas disco music; not because I don’t want to – I’m not one of those who think dancing is merely a right of passage into homosexuality – more because I simply can’t.

Quite literally, music has got to move me if I’m to dance. Cheesy discos don’t do that –they’re just too slow and predictable.

It didn’t stop others filling the dancefloor. The women are most eager; dragging each other up for ‘a bit of a boogie’. Once they’ve negotiated all the tables they simply stand in a circle and do the stepping side-to-side dance. A little later and more lubricated, this might be embellished with the odd ‘hands in the air sing along to chorus’ variation.

Men also do the stepping side-to-side dance – it’s all very self conscious – height doesn’t help – and nobody knows what to do with their hands. Maybe this is an accurate pre-cursor to a night in the sack.

The other breed are the men who do the undo their shirts and jump around like baboons. These are people also tend to have sick down their shirts. These must be the people who think that picking a woman up by the hair and throwing her on the bed for a good seeing to is in some way attractive.

If dancing is indeed some sort of primal mating ritual, it's a wonder how long the human race can sustain its abject state in the modern world.

(*office party video, not authors own... thankfully).


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