Sunday, April 06, 2003

Linhope corner

Rents in Marylebone are oppressive as it is, but in terms of rents paid per utilised square metre, the Linhope Corner has to be the most expensive real estate in the northern hemisphere.

Whilst the whole of Linhope is a chaotic nod to modern day consumerism, it is just one small corner of the living room that appears to be utilised with any great vigour. Usually my visits are brief, often starting at 3am after a night out, we will get in, Simon will survey the detritus of Linhope Corner and analyse who is currently in the house, and what has been going on there.

“Hmm, cigar, copy of FHM, TV control, half bottle of whiskey, Baz clearly went out on the spaz*, didn’t enjoy it too much, came home, watched TV fell asleep and is currently upstairs in bed, hmm the FHM is puzzling me… I concur that he’s alone.”

If I stay at Linhope, The Corner is where I sleep, it’s where the sofa bed is, and the widescreen TV which only plays Soccer AM and The Simpsons (oh, and Seinfeld now), and the copies of The Sun and FHM, and piles of change (ask Simon to do his ‘Barry’s Pocket’s Routine’), and the games consoles, and the blurry pictures and tokens of ventures past, and many other media related short term consumables.

Try moving everything you own into three-square metres of your house, that’s what it’s like. It’s so densely packed with stuff you can’t help thinking that perhaps it’s an art installation and that the actual living takes place elsewhere. On Saturday I went over to find, for the first time, all three of the residents sitting in Linhope Corner enjoying a lazy Saturday morning. Barry lounged across the sofa, Davis was slouched star shaped on one chair and Simon was geeking on his laptop in the other. Soccer AM was musing in the corner. Through some miracle of mathematics and particle physics they all actually fitted in.

*Linhopian slang


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