...ruffles...

Meg’s been kind enough to forward the lyrics to Lavigne’s missive about her groupie ways, and I like you, think it deserves further analysis.

Firstly a technical point, “He was a skater boy, She said see you later boy” is not a rhyme, it is not even a para-rhyme, like dog and nob. It’s what is technically known in song writing parlance as The Same Word, where have you ever heard a good lyric which involves ‘rhyming’ using the same word.

I doubt at Sun Records Elvis walked in one morning and Colonel Tom Parker said: -

CTP – “Elv, you know the song you sang yesterday about the jailhouse”
Elvis – “Uh huh uh”
CTP – “You know the bit about the prison band wailing?”
Elvis – “Uh huh uh”
CTP – “Well we’ve decided to change the lyrics to: Warden threw a party in the county jail, the prison band was there in the county jail."
Elvis – “Ah wella wella wella”

Suggested alternative lyrics: - “I have deficiencies in rhyming efficiently”

OK, next bit, after she’s seen him “Rocking on MTV” “She calls up her friends, They already know, And they've all got Tickets to see his show, She tags along, Stands in the crowd, Looks up at the man that she turned down.”

Right Lavigne, get this, read between the lines love, this girl decides to pop along to his show and manages to get tickets without any notice. No queuing, phoning up, or buying from touts - the man isn’t selling out his shows, DESPITE, wall to wall MTV coverage. He’s toast, live with it.

Suggested alternative lyrics: - “She’s not res-ent-ful, coz tickets are plentiful”

Next bit: “Does your pretty face see what he's worth?” a. by your own admission she’s got a pretty face, which in my book, given what a bitch you are, means she’s gorgeous, she is conscientious enough to look after the child she’s had, to me she’s not going to go far wrong. I think it’s rather presumptuous to assume that she still pines for this bloke. As Meg quite rightly says, there was clearly nothing between them in the first place – “no shared hobbies or anything”. B. As for what he’s worth – NOTHING, he can’t sell out his shows. Loser.

Will Lavigne be by his side when he’s living in a box eating sand? Of course not.

Labels: Music