Long post short story
"Zzz mumble mumble, a parsnip perhaps, but you'll never get a melon up there, mumble mumble, zzz"
"Hello"
"UH? Oh, hello Ghost of Working Past, how are you?"
"I'm very well; I've had a relaxing weekend in a health spa, a treat from my kids for my birthday"
"Nice, are you here to take me back to my days at the Oxford publishing company"
"I am indeed, are you ready?"
"Yeah sure, let me get my slippers"
"Are they new pyjamas? I never thought brown paisley would look good on anyone, but on you they look OK"
"Thanks, who's that over there, it looks like Darth Vader"
"It is, he loves your blog, he used to have one of his own, now he's retired he's thinking of starting one up again and telling a
few stories from his time on the Death Star, I'm going to show him round when I've finished with you, I hope you don't mind"
"Sure, he had his own blog? Can I see it?"
"Well it was a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away"
"Oh well, hello Darth Vader, I'm Justin Ruffles"
"Hello Justin, nice to me you, I love your blog"
"Thanks, I've always wondered who was reading from the domain name www.imperialfleet.space"
"That was me; I used to read it when I supposed to be catching up with my paperwork. Just one thing Justin, I would rather you called me by the name I use nowadays"
"Oh, OK, what's that?"
"Glenn"
"Glenn?"
"Yes"
"Glenn Vader?"
"Yes, since I've retired to Eastbourne I've had all sorts of problems fitting in, being called Darth Vader is so.... Conspicuous"
"I suppose it is"
"I can't get into the golf club, the bowls club, and getting into Geoffrey's Rainbow Pride Bar has been a nightmare, you'd think the boys would go for the outfit"
"Geoffrey's Rainbow Pride Bar? That sounds rather like a...."
"Well, haven't you seen the films? It's quite evident I was suppressing something, ducky"
"Shall we go through the magical vortex?"
"OK Ghost of Working Past, but can you be a bit more careful with the controls of that thing, last time we used it I don't think you put my feet back on the right way round, my shoes have been looking very strange these last few days. Come on Darth, er, Glenn you'll have to be right behind me if were all to get through the vortex together"
"A boy doesn't need asking twice."
Swooshywooshywoowoo
"Well, the car park's full, looks like everyone's inside and ready for work"
"WOW, is that an orange 2CV"
"Yes, it's Jo's"
"Not Jo Who's Quintessentially Steppenwolf"
VOWWWWOOOWWMMMM!
"Yes, now put that light sabre away, you'll hurt someone"
SHHHHSCHTUCK
"That was my 2CV when I was a student, I lost it to Jo in a card game on Tatoine, I'm still very upset by it, she used to do the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs"
"Strange, it took longer than that to get from Cowley"
"Come on you two, this post is long enough as it is, let's have a look around"
"So where are we now?"
"This is the reception, that's Joan, the receptionist, part woman, part Bull Mastif, she was the guardian of the faxes, if she didn't like you, you didn't get your faxes sent. She also operated the Tannoy and told people when the Sandwich lady had arrived, though not before she'd got her order in."
"There's Jo Who's Quintessentially Steppenwolf"
VOWWWWOOOWWWWMM!
"Jesus Darth, er Glenn, will you stop doing that. Ghost of Working Past, can anyone see us as we're walking around?"
"Sometimes, it depends on whether the joke requires it or not."
SHHHHSCHTUCK
"Quick, let's follow her, perhaps she's about to re-enact a story from the past"
"I would bet my 2CV on that little prediction coming true, if I still had it"
VOWWWWOWWWMMM!
"GLENN"
SHHHHSCHTUCK
"She's going into the girl's toilets, quick, before the door shuts"
"Where's she gone?"
"I think she's in that cubicle"
"Look, the other ones on fire!"
"No I don't think that's black smoke, it doesn't appear to be moving"
"GULP!"
"What is it Ghost of Working Past?"
"I've just remembered something, last time we were here, I left the 1970's Wolverhampton Wanderers left back George Berry in the cubicle whilst we had a look round. I forgot to pick him up. He's been there all that time."
"Look his Afro's growing out the top of the cubicle"
"Thank you for clarifying that, I wasn't sure whether people got the joke"
"You know I said we were visible if the joke warranted it?"
"Yes"
"SOMEONE'S COMING"
"Quick let's get into George's hair and hide"
"Puff Pant, made it, oh look there's Jo having a poo with her head in her hands"
"Hangover probably"
"Hey..."
"Shhh, the door's opening"
"Look..."
"Will you be quiet"
"BUT..."
"Keep your trap shut, oh look it's Jen from the Marketing Department"
"I think..."
"Shhhh"
"But Justin"
"What"
"Jo's cubicle door's unlocked"
SHHHHRRIIEEEEEKKKKKKK!
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