Bez'ed in class
Let’s face it, if Bez entered the boat race he’d deserve to win it, his victory in Celebrity Big Brother should be assured. I never got the chance to see the Mondays in full flow, but I did once see a shambolic Black Grape gig at the Town and Country Club.
We were in the balcony and could see right into the wings of the stage, the Grape’s backing band came on following a shouty support slot from Kaliphz, who had a brief but bright career as an Asian Agit-Hip Hop unit until they spoilt it all by hooking up to record a single with Prince Naseem.
The band struck up one of those signature Mondays style ramshackle grooves. It went on for an age, round and round, chugging a dirty funk. After about four minutes, it seemed that Shaun Ryder and Bez weren’t actually going to turn up. Just as it seemed the gig wouldn’t happen, from the wings, a dancing monkey appeared in the gloom. Bez grooved into view shaking his maracas as though he’d freaky danced his way all the way down the M6 from Manchester. The place went ballistic, but the rapture didn’t break Bez’s rhythm as he continued across the stage, halting occasionally to do a little back step or a freestyled trot on the spot. Eventually he reached the far side of the stage squatted to shake his maracas at a couple of enthralled fans. Then he rose and, still without breaking his rhythm, danced straight off the other side of the stage.
And that was it, Bez went home, one Ecstasy induced circuit, the best performance of the night, and he was done. Or so it seemed. He did return several songs later, presumably having carried on in the same direction until a roadie turned him back towards the stage. When he eventually came back, he took up station on the edge of the stage. He didn’t break his rhythm at any point for the next two hours, he even danced to the silence in between songs, demonstrating some of his best moves as it happens.
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